Its a few minutes after midnight.
Lying in bed, the children are woken by all too familiar sounds.
Mummy’s feet running down the corridor. She’s screaming.
Daddy is chasing after her.
The thud of his fists punching her over and over again when he catches her.
The next morning at breakfast, he sits stroking her once beautiful, and now bruised face.
He whispers that she shouldn’t have made him do it.
That it won’t happen again.
But it does.
Over and over and over again.
A relationship characterised by physical abuse is not a healthy relationship.
It is as an entanglement.
Your issues are entangled with the perpetrator’s issues and nobody wins.
In fact, it’s an entrapment.
Yet often it seems the victim builds the mental walls that keep them trapped in their own hell.
Why do people stay?
“It’s what I deserve”
“I am too embarrassed and ashamed to admit that I am being abused”
“I believe I can’t leave or make it on my own”
“At least it’s familiar. I know what to expect. It’s a habit. Predictable. If I leave, the unknown of the other side is far more frightening.”
“I have invested so much time and effort in this relationship. I do not want to start over”
“He will change”
“No one else will ever want me”
Those that leave, do so when they realise their life is in danger.
When they realise that not only do they deserve better, they are worth better.
That they are a person of value.
Even if it is only to themselves.